Many years ago a car company, attempting to show the advantages of front wheel drive, aired a commercial showing an Alaskan dog sled team pushing its sled rather than pulling it. Of course, the sled moved nowhere and the dogs and sled were tangled in a chaotic mess. As a therapist specializing in the treatment…
Holiday Recipes for Relapse and Recovery by Forest Benedict MS, SAPT-C LifeSTAR the Central Valley
The holidays can be a challenging time for all of us, especially those in recovery. An increase in sugary, fatty foods, plus a decrease in structure, combined with a mixture of family chaos, can quickly become a recipe for relapse. Despite the many challenges of sustaining recovery in this season, there are essential strategies that…
Fighting Against Pornography- Part 5
Editor’s note: The following story deals with sexually-themed subject matter that will not be appropriate for some readers. Discretion is advised. This is part four in a four-part series. Read part one: “Ubiquitous assailant: The dangerous unasked questions surrounding pornography.” Read part two: “Second-hand porn: the spreading circle of damage.” Read part 3: “Why laws to…
What is Pornography?
What is Pornography… As a therapist that specializes in pornography addiction I am constantly asked the question “what is pornography?” Many people would think that the answer is really simple, however, after working with couples that are battling pornography addiction the answer can sometimes be complicated. The dictionary defines pornography as “creative activity (writing or…
Seeing with compassion
“The only reason we don’t open our hearts and minds to other people is that they trigger confusion in us that we don’t feel brave enough or sane enough to deal with. To the degree that we look clearly and compassionately at ourselves, we feel confident and fearless about looking into someone else’s eyes.”Pema Chodron…
How to help someone betrayed by pornography
If you know someone who has been betrayed by a partner’s pornography use, you’ve probably wondered how to best help them through this relational trauma. In my years of counseling injured partners, I’ve heard quite a range of comments and advice passed along by concerned family members, church leaders, and even counselors. It’s helpful to…
Posttraumatic Stress Disorder and addiction
Here is an excellent educational video on posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Virtually every partner who discovers her husband’s or boyfriend’s use of pornography experiences symptoms of PTSD. Women experience feelings of anxiety, shock, anger, numbing, intrusive thoughts, panic, and other symptoms that disrupt their lives. This video explains the seriousness of PTSD and the need to…