Many years ago a car company, attempting to show the advantages of front wheel drive, aired a commercial showing an Alaskan dog sled team pushing its sled rather than pulling it. Of course, the sled moved nowhere and the dogs and sled were tangled in a chaotic mess. As a therapist specializing in the treatment…
Of The Heart
In recovery work, we learn a lot about toxic shame. Toxic shame is the feeling that we are deeply flawed, inadequate, and therefore, unworthy of being accepted and loved. Toxic shame is like being plunged into darkness, with a very limited view of yourself and your abilities. Even worse, it hijacks your sense of being…
How to help someone betrayed by pornography
If you know someone who has been betrayed by a partner’s pornography use, you’ve probably wondered how to best help them through this relational trauma. In my years of counseling injured partners, I’ve heard quite a range of comments and advice passed along by concerned family members, church leaders, and even counselors. It’s helpful to…
Posttraumatic Stress Disorder and addiction
Here is an excellent educational video on posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Virtually every partner who discovers her husband’s or boyfriend’s use of pornography experiences symptoms of PTSD. Women experience feelings of anxiety, shock, anger, numbing, intrusive thoughts, panic, and other symptoms that disrupt their lives. This video explains the seriousness of PTSD and the need to…