In this webisode, Dr. Jill Manning, a licensed marriage and family therapist, answers the question: Who can I talk to?
One thing that I found in my research with wives and also in my clinical work with women was this common thread of isolation. Women, even women who are well connected to friends and family and have a strong social network around them, will tend to feel very isolated when this issue arises in their lives.
And that isolation can be a very serious problem in and of itself because when you are isolated you are not reaching out and seeking resources that are available.
So when women ask me ‘Who can I turn to,” there are two things that come to mind:
1. Not everyone is ready to talk. Some people need time to step back, reflect, OK what’s going on, how did we get to this point and just become oriented.
And for those women I’d want them to know even if you are not wanting to talk, there are still many ways that you can get support. There are so many terrific books, blogs, online websites and resources online that you can get into and learn that you are not on your own and start brainstorming with some of those ideas that are available that way.
For women who need more direct, one-on-one help and to be talking, I encourage them to find someone that they trust, someone that has an understanding of this issue, or is at least curious about this issue, and perhaps they know nothing about it, but they are a trusting friend and confidant that is willing to be taught what your experience is like. And I think anyone like that can be a tremendous sounding board and support.
Now there is also professional helps. And more and more we see a wider range of support available for women to speak one on one in a confidential setting to get ideas and support for how to navigate this tricky and complex issue.
Jill C. Manning, Ph.D., is a licensed marriage and family therapist who specializes in research and clinical work related to pornography and its impact on marriages and families. She was selected to be a visiting Social Science Fellow at The Heritage Foundation in Washington, D.C., and as a result, testified before a Senate sub-committee on the harms of pornography. She is the author of “What’s the Big Deal about Pornography?: A Guide for the Internet Generation,” and the newly released CD, “Let’s Talk about the Elephant in the Room: How LDS Women Can Protect Families from Pornography.”